North Vancouver police are asking the public to help make a “romantic reunion.”
Police issued a tongue-in-cheek news release Wednesday that looked like a personal ad for a “single non-white jacket.”
“You dropped me off on that rainy night, behind the Salvation Army Thrift Store on Fell Street in North Vancouver,” the release said. “But I think you still miss me. Because you left something valuable behind, in one of my pockets. Not a scarf or pair of socks, but something much more valuable. Maybe you just wanted one last chance to hold me?”
The jacket is described as “broad shouldered and nicely tanned,” with an astrological sign of Virgo, and that it’s seeking a Scorpio who wears a size XL.
“By my guess, you’re over 40 (but you don’t look a day over 29!). You know how to treat a jacket. You never labelled me and I loved you for that. You’re clean, but not a neat-freak.”
The news release writer even goes so far as to describe the jacket’s interests.
“I love long walks on the beach and candle-lit dinners. I’m not sporty, but I’m just as comfortable at a pub as I am at the symphony.
“I’m warm, soft, formal, and low-maintenance. I don’t like labels, so nobody can tell where I’m from. I’m well put together, and have never fallen apart in public. Smooth-chested. No back hair!”
The release does not say when the jacket was discovered, but if you’re the owner, your jacket is “missing you” and you’re asked to contact North Vancouver police at 604-985-1311.