When I was a little girl I had a really special doll. She was a knockoff American Girl doll but I didn’t notice or care. She was beautiful with long, curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes that closed when I laid her down. I remember getting her for my birthday.
I had a couple of different outfits for her and I made a bed out of a shoe box. I named her Tiffany and she is the only toy that my mom kept from my childhood. My mom recently gave it to my daughter, who was delighted. However, she has since been thrown into the toy box with very little care.
I don’t know if my daughters have one special doll. They have so many. I recently cleaned out one of our many toy boxes and donated a huge garbage bag to a second-hand store. That was over two weeks ago and none of my children have noticed.
Not one has asked for a single toy that they can’t find. How did we get here? Nothing seems special anymore.
It’s not their fault. Every birthday and holiday they get more toys, more dolls and more stuff. Our house is filled to the walls with their junk. And I say it is junk because no one really cares about anything. Subconsciously (or maybe not), my girls just know that they’ll get more or another toy soon. They don’t take care about their one special doll, like I did. I know, I only have myself to blame. (And maybe their grandparents.)
I know that my family is not alone in having too many toys.
The average child has over a hundred toys by the time they reach their teens. However, multiple studies have shown that is too much. More is not better. Results of one study revealed most kids only play with 5 - 10 toys out of their entire toy collection.
Another study showed fewer toys at a time lead to better quality playtime for toddlers, allowing them to focus on one toy at a time, build concentration skills, and play more creatively. My own research has proved that my children place less value on their stuff with too many toys.
As I was trying to clean up the other day, and organize the Lego and small toys into different bins, I realized that I can’t organize all the chaos. No matter how hard I try to keep things in order, I feel overwhelmed. I can’t imagine how my children feel.
My girls hadn’t touched their Barbies in a long time so I thought it was safe to clean them up. I did manage to organize all the dolls, and I set up their dollhouses with all the furniture in the right places and put away all their clothes and shoes and accessories. It looked so clean and nice.
My daughters’ interest in them suddenly perked back up. They were so excited to play with them again. I almost stopped them because I didn’t want them to mess everything up, but I held my breath. They played for hours, dressing them all up and hosting tea parties with the Barbies.
In that moment, it made me glad that I didn’t trash them. I think they were avoiding the Barbie section of our house because it was so messy and overwhelming but once everything was cleaned up, they could see them and play with them again. It once again looks like Godzilla has trampled through Malibu but at least I know now that it is all too much. We need to downsize. Having more toys does not lead to more happiness. It paralyzes my children.
From now on, I’m going to think before I buy toys, for my own kids and their friends and cousins, and try to think about gifting memories or experiences instead of material objects. I hope it isn’t too late to teach my children about valuing their things and taking care of them.