Out with self-care and in with grace

Marisca hopes the new word for 2020 is grace

I feel like the word of the year in 2019 was self-care. I kept reading mommy blogs and hearing about how important it is to do things for yourself. I tried a few things the internet told me to do in order to take care of myself so that I could better take care of my children like getting a hair cut or spending a night away from my kids.

These things didn’t make me feel better. I felt so guilty leaving my children and spending money on myself. I just didn’t get it. I understand that you can’t pour from an empty cup but I didn’t feel fulfilled spending time or money on myself.

I especially felt bad getting a babysitter in order to do some of those things. Maybe I’m crazy. But it took me a while to figure out that recharging your batteries is so different for everyone. If ‘self-care’ makes you feel guilty then it isn’t self-care.

I discovered that sometimes after a long day, I just needed to put the kids to bed a couple of minutes early, take a hot shower and freely ignore the laundry that needed folding. If you need a night away every once in a while or can have a girls night out, all the power to you. You do whatever you need to do in order to regroup. You are still important and still a person, on top of being a parent. You just need to discover what it is that rejuvenates you and own it.

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Looking forward to 2020, I hope there is a new word floating around the internet.

I’d love the word of the year to be grace. We could all use a little more grace in our lives. We need to give grace to those around us and I think more importantly we need to give ourselves grace.

If your kids stayed in their PJs all day that’s okay. Or if you served your family cereal for dinner, don’t feel bad. You fed them and they probably loved it. If your pre-pregnancy jeans don’t quite fit, remember that your organs literally rearranged themselves to grow your baby. Or if you lost your temper today, don’t forget that you are the most important person in the world to your child.


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One bad afternoon, day or even week does not make you a bad parent. Let’s be easier on ourselves and extend ourselves some grace this year.


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