The characteristics of a zombie include being mobile while dead; having no mercy for victims; not being able to communicate well; and having discoloured eyes and skin. Some days, I feel this could also define me. Having three kids under the age of six has changed me and my lifestyle, mostly though my sleep… or lack of sleep.
When the sun goes down my house turns into a circus and my children are the ring leaders.
I’ve concluded that, through my own scientific research, that some children are just good sleepers and some are not. I co-slept with my oldest and sleep-trained my second (currently my new baby is just along for the ride, I’m not even sure what I’m doing with her) and all three suck at sleeping. They are good at a lot of things and have a lot of strengths but sleep is not one of them.
It doesn’t matter what I’ve tried, what gadget that promises better shut-eye that I’ve bought, how many different beds we’ve gone through, how many different essential oils I’ve lathered on to my children or diffused into their air, nothing seems to work. I’m in a constant state of tiredness all the time.
I look at people who have children who sleep well like dieters look at skinny people eating fries who never gain weight. I salivate. It defies logic. It isn’t fair. But here we are. This is the hand I’ve been dealt. And I keep reminding myself that this is just a season in my life. One day I’ll sleep again.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my munchkins. I love them. They are healthy, happy little girls. I’m blessed… just tired as f*ck.
I’m currently writing with a throbbing headache because I’m so tired and you might be wondering why I don’t nap while the baby is napping right now but I’m caffeinated to the nines and need to vent.
Thank you for listening.
Some days I feel alone in my quest for sleep but I can’t be the only one. I should start a club for people who don’t sleep, for one reason or another.
We can lament over the lack of rest and what it does to us. I’ve probably looked like a crazy lady in the grocery store a few too many times, just in a daze needing the coveted milk that puts at least the bottle-addicted toddler to sleep for a couple of hours.
If you ever see a parent walking with children in a zombie-like state, please be kind. You have no idea what last night was like.