Silver Cross Mother Reine Samson Dawe walks at her home north of Kingston, Ont., on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2019. Not only did Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships - including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick

Silver Cross Mother Reine Samson Dawe walks at her home north of Kingston, Ont., on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2019. Not only did Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships - including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick

Remembering the sacrifices of Canada’s military families

Many military families in Canada continue to face more financial challenges than their civilian counterparts

Not only did Reine Samson Dawe’s husband serve his entire career in the Canadian Armed Forces, but her four sons all followed in his footsteps. And while she is quick to point to the many ways military life has benefited her family, there have also been hardships — including the death of her youngest son, Capt. Matthew Dawe, in Afghanistan in 2007.

Selected this year’s Silver Cross Mother by the Royal Canadian Legion, Samson Dawe will lay a wreath at the base of the National War Memorial during Monday’s Remembrance Day ceremonies on behalf of all mothers who have lost children as a result of military service to Canada.

In an interview from her home in Kingston, Ont., Samson Dawe acknowledged the challenges that come with being part of a military family. Those include frequent relocations, often to relatively isolated communities, as well as the separation that comes with training and deployments and the threat of a loved one being injured or killed in the line of duty.

Samson Dawe, who met her husband while interning at a military hospital in Halifax after studying physiotherapy in Montreal, recalls the night in 2002 when four Canadian soldiers were killed by a U.S. warplane in Afghanistan. Her two oldest sons, Peter and Philip, were serving in the country at the time and she barely slept a wink while waiting for news.

“When Pete called and the first thing he said was ‘Mom, we’re OK,’ I couldn’t speak,” she said. “I cried my eyes out. At that point, there was no restraint or anything. I was so relieved. But those are moments that are extremely difficult, obviously.”

Five years later, however, Matthew Dawe was killed by an improvised explosive device along with five of his fellow Canadian soldiers and an Afghan interpreter. The 27-year-old died the same day his son, Lucas, turned two.

Even now, Samson Dawe has difficulty relating how the tragedy affected her and her family. But she credits her son’s death with having brought the family closer together as they struggled to cope with its aftermath, which included supporting Lucas. And despite losing her son, she prefers to see the positives of her unexpected life as the wife and mother of Forces members.

“We were young and I always thought it was a bit of a challenge to move at times, but it was also an adventure and I enjoyed going to new places and meeting new people,” Samson Dawe said, adding it also helped build resiliency in her and her sons.

ALSO READ: Online backlash against Don Cherry for comments on immigrants and Remembrance Day

The federal government did not historically give much thought to military families for most of the last century, said Canadian War Museum historian Tim Cook.

“The care of the families was not primarily the task of (the Department of National Defence) and others,” Cook said. “It was to win the war. And I think what we found, certainly in the second half of the 20th century, was that we were doing a poor job in helping families deal with grief and loss and re-integrating veterans back.”

It was only after the Cold War, when Canadian military personnel deployed on a variety of different missions, most of them peacekeeping, there was “a renewed affirmation of the relationship between stable, functioning military families and an effective, sustainable fighting force,” the Canadian Armed Forces ombudsman wrote in 2013.

“Consequently, support to families has been elevated to a top institutional priority for much of the post-2000 period.”

The Canadian Armed Forces now maintains a network of 32 Military Family Resource Centres on bases across the country, which serve as a one-stop shop for families who are moving to new areas or dealing with the stresses of separation and loss.

A covenant was also released in 2008 promising military families would not be put at a disadvantage because a loved one is serving in uniform; the government’s defence policy, released in June 2017, also committed to additional funds and support for families.

“You don’t really know the lifestyle until you’ve lived it,” said Taylor Galloway, family engagement services manager at the MFRC in Ottawa, who works closely with military families in the national capital region.

“It really, truly is a choice to sacrifice that much of your life and that much of your family’s life to serve a country. So I just think of that bravery and that complete strength that that really entails from a member’s perspective, but also from a family’s perspective and from children’s perspective.”

The Vanier Institute of the Family released a study last week that found many military families in Canada continue to face more financial challenges than their civilian counterparts, including additional costs associated with relocations and deployments and husbands and wives having to sacrifice careers for a military spouse.

Many military families also have difficulty accessing health care, according to an article published in the Canadian Family Physician journal in January. The article noted that while Forces members are treated through the military health-care system, “their families must repeatedly navigate multiple civilian provincial and territorial health systems.”

And while only a fraction of military families are affected by service-related injuries or illnesses, an August 2018 report by the Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services group, which is responsible for their well-being, found the impacts can be severe.

Overall, the CFMWS report found roughly 10 per cent of military families were struggling. And while one-third of military families felt they were well supported, “one-third did not think so and one-third were neutral.” The report added that overall family participation in offered programs and services was low, though those who did participate felt the services were beneficial.

For her part, Samson Dawe encouraged military families to access the support and services that has been made available to help. And while she didn’t want to diminish the support shown her family after Matthew’s death, she urged Canadians across the country to spare a thought for military families on Remembrance Day — and every other day of the year as well.

“I would like Canadians to demonstrate their support to the military families,” she said. “The last thing that the families want, and I think that goes for soldiers in general, they don’t want pity. They deserve a whole lot more than that.”

READ MORE: More Canadians plan to attend Remembrance Day ceremonies this year: poll

Lee Berthiaume, The Canadian Press


Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Gareth Manderson, general manager BC Works, and Bandstra’s Zach Runions and Steve Collins. Photo supplied
Smithers family-owned business institution sold to publicly-traded company

Bandstra Transportation and Babine Trucking acquired by Mullen Group

B.C. Finance Minister Selina Robinson outlines the province’s three-year budget in Victoria, April 20, 2021. (B.C. government video)
B.C. deficit to grow by $19 billion for COVID-19 recovery spending

Pandemic-year deficit $5 billion lower than forecast

The Quesnel RCMP Detachment is one of seven northern police buildings which can now connect directly to Prince George for daily bail hearings. (Observer File Photo)
Bail hearings going virtual in B.C.’s north

A court pilot project will see virtual courtroom cameras set up in seven RCMP detatchments

FILE – Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs have agreed to sign a memorandum on rights and title with B.C. and Ottawa, but elected chiefs are demanding it be called off over lack of consultation. (Thom Barker photo)
Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs, Lake Babine Nation get provincial funding for land, title rights

Government says it’s a new, flexible model for future agreements between Canada, B.C. and First Nations.

A large crowd protested against COVID-19 measures at Sunset Beach in Vancouver on Tuesday, April 20, 2021. (Snapchat)
VIDEO: Large, police-patrolled crowds gather at Vancouver beach for COVID protests

Vancouver police said they patrolled the area and monitored all gatherings

FILE – The Instagram app is shown on an iPhone in Toronto on Monday, March 19, 2018. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graeme Roy
Judge acquits B.C. teen boy ‘set up’ on sex assault charge based on Instagram messages

The girl and her friends did not have ‘good intentions’ towards the accused, judge says

Kai Palkeinen recently helped a car stuck on the riverbed near the Big Eddy Bridge. While the car could not be saved, some of the driver’s belongings were. It’s common for vehicles to get stuck in the area due to significantly changing river levels from Revelstoke Dam. (Photo by Kai Palkeinen)
“I just sank a car’: Revelstoke resident tries to save vehicle from the Columbia River

Although it’s not permitted, the riverbed near the city is popular for off roading

Cannabis bought in British Columbia (Ashley Wadhwani/Black Press Media)
Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

Meng Wanzhou, chief financial officer of Huawei, walks down the street with an acquaintance after leaving B.C. Supreme Court during a lunch break at her extradition hearing, in Vancouver, B.C., Thursday, April 1, 2021. A judge is scheduled to release her decision today on a request to delay the final leg of hearings in Meng Wanzhou’s extradition case. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Rich Lam
B.C. judge grants Meng Wanzhou’s request to delay extradition hearings

Lawyers for Canada’s attorney general had argued there is no justification to delay proceedings in the case

B.C. Premier John Horgan announces travel restrictions between the province’s regional health authorities at the legislature, April 19, 2021. (B.C. government photo)
B.C. sees 862 more COVID-19 cases Wednesday, seven deaths

Recreational travel restrictions set to begin Friday

B.C. Finance Minister Selina Robinson is photographed following her budget speech in the legislative assembly at the provincial legislature in Victoria, Tuesday, April 20, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
B.C. budget lacks innovative drive, vision during uncertain times, say experts

Finance Minister Selina Robinson’s budget sets out to spend $8.7 billion over three years on infrastructure

Using panels kept cold by water circulating within them, B.C. researchers compared thermal comfort in 60 of the world’s most populous cities, including Toronto. (Lea Ruefenacht)
B.C. researchers use air conditioning to combat spread of COVID particles

Dr. Adam Rysanek and his team have proven a new worthwhile system – a mixture of cooling panels and natural ventilation

Police road checks are coming for people travelling between regions while COVID-19 travel restrictions are in place. (Black Press file photo)
B.C. clarifies COVID-19 travel restrictions, Lower Mainland a single zone

Vehicle checks on highways, at ferry terminals to start Friday

Most Read