Only special deliveries, please

Brenda doesn’t need whatever’s in that box.

Brenda Mallory

Brenda Mallory

My life could be changed! Well, I guess that is not the case since I live in this region. The point is, even when I lived in the bigger areas to the south I never had a delivery of anything come to my door. No pizza, no Chinese food — nothing, nada.

I say all this thinking about the excitement that goes on here when a person opens the big gate to come down the long driveway to this cabin in the woods. Most of the excitement is displayed by the three dogs. The cat — not so much. The cat runs away. Me? I try to control the dogs wondering at the same time who is coming my way. It might be a worker, it could be a friend with homemade soup. There is a chance it is another friend who will take River, the dog, for a long walk. Who knows?

For sure I know it is not a dinner I have ordered from a restaurant. It is not a cardboard box of ingredients I could assemble if I felt inclined to cook a regular meal.

If I lived in a bigger city I could receive my regular shipment of dog goodies. Then again it might be catheters or medication. That I assume would be for me not the dogs.

There is a chance a delivery person will come to my door telling me I have a special thing from a store somewhere with free shipping. Apparently the free shipping is a game changer. A commercial with some person ordering from the free shipping people will poke away at some device that shows just how marvellous their living space will look with all the stuff the person ordered.

Where do folks get all the money? I ask you why do they need so much stuff? I have never had any real new furniture. Back in the day I could get excited about a brick and board bookshelf. Even a tacky shag carpet with its own rake was a big deal. Mind you there was no such thing as a Visa card. If you didn’t have cash in hand, you couldn’t buy whatever it was that your heart hoped for.

I suppose I could conjure up a drone to drop of something I might have ordered. Then again, maybe not.

If I want to buy something, I make sure I have the money. I try my best to buy locally. I have never bought anything online or called a number I see on the TV that tells my I could buy a special light or some other doodad. If I call in the next 10 minutes I could actually get another one of the advertised items. It’s too much I tell you.

Those who come here to visit on a friendly basis, you are welcome. If you are bringing some darn item in a box, go away!

There now, that feels better. I will now sit on my ample backside and watch some of the election business in the States. Maybe I would be better off with someone bringing me a catheter or a free sample of adult diapers. Put that idea on hold.

I enjoyed talking to many of you on my last visit to town. I am sorry that some of you are having your troubles. Loved ones aging faster that you might have hoped. To the nice lady who thinks she might adopt a dog from the shelter: good luck to you.

Until we meet again you could call me at 250-846-5095 or email a note to